Hello everyone, you all don’t know… but I’ve struggled with accepting myself at every weight I’ve been through my life. Before I had my daughter, I was pretty content with my size. I was curvy but felt I was perfect to me and that was all that mattered. Thought time I grew problems with my weight due to a toxic relationship I was in where I was always put down for my size.
After being in that relationship, I questioned my appearance and attractiveness due to weight. I’ve never been a size small and at the time it seemed everyone around me including the media was glorifying a small slender frame and looking down on anyone who was larger. This created a fight within myself. On one side I wanted to be as thin as everyone else that was praised so highly for their slender bodies. And on the other side I wanted to be happy with myself no matter what size I was.
Well I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and gained about 20 lbs. I was in shambles. I was disappointed in myself for gaining weight, not realizing the weight I gained was mostly from my daughter and not just me eating crazy. I slowly started to see myself as pretty and was content with my size. My weight has always fluctuated and never been stable. When I learned I was pregnant with my son I was okay with my body, but still self conscious of how other people saw me. After giving birth for the second time I was surprisingly happy that I was down to my pre pregnancy weight within the first three months postpartum.
This timeline leads me up till now. As of now, I’m content with my body and size. But I do still have times where I wonder what others think and don’t wear certain things because of that. I’m planning on using my blog more to show my journey of falling back in love with myself. I love being plus size. Is it a struggle sometimes when it comes to clothes and certain trends? Yes. But, the only way to really fall in love with myself and be carefree is to step outside of my box and do things differently than I have been doing. Trying new styles. Trying risky styles that I’d never grab for on a regular day. And I’m ready for the challenge! I hope you all follow me on this journey and potentially learn something as well!
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